10 Things You Didn't Know About Evan Markowitz

1. Evan and Mao Zedong have drinks every week; they call it Thirsty Tianamen Thursdays

2. Mao got the idea for his empire by stealing Evan's dry cleaning business model

3. Evan paid for the JeffGalante.com domain name by selling the pelts of baby harp seals

4. Those seals volunteered to be clubbed, as they believed it to be an honor

5. Evan Markowitz's DNA strands are even curlier than most, on account of his Jewness

6. Evan Markowitz will not drink beer because he does not believe in cruelty to hopps

7. Evan Markowitz will drink cocktails because he is in fact so manly that he needs a fruity drink so women don't cream themselves to death

8. All of Evan's ancestors looks exactly like him; you can not improve upon perfection

9. Evan does not acknowledge the existence of the number 10, instead he refers to it as "a baker's 9"

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